You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?

No 156 - Saving Private Ryan

Director - Steven Spielberg

Saving Private Ryan is known (and really, is remembered) for one thing. One epic battle on the shores of Omaha Beach in Normandy. It is so ingrained as THE memory of the film that it eclipses everything else. I was so convinced that this was how the film truly began that I was surprised to see a little old James Ryan shuffle along to the Normandy American cemetery and Memorial. But it is old Ryan which bookends the film (indeed the fade out at the end from young Ryan to old is masterful) before we hit the full horrors of war.

The opening sequence is incredible. Shaky cameras which seem to be documenting evidence rather than filming fiction, mud, blood, entrails and futility are all captured on screen. It is deliberately chaotic, the camera almost seems like an additional character as it looks around the beach trying to find moments of action to focus in on. Throughout this mess we lose track of characters and can barely hear what is being shouted over the bombs and blasts. But that is not the point. This is not there to boost a character arc or to progress the plot. This is there for one reason. It shows you that war is a horrible brutal place and it shows you just how fragile and fleeting life can be. In that job, it succeeds triumphantly. It is a tough and painful bit of cinema - incredibly visceral, and unnerving in how 'in your face' it all is. It stands alone (and it is, really, separate from the rest of the film) and should be watched. Or.... experienced.

Only after subjecting us to a good 15 minutes of brutal warfare do we begin to actually mention the plot and the strange ruling which sees Tom Hanks and a small unit sent to rescue Private James Ryan (a point which is contested throughout the film) - during this, the group coincide with other groups performing their own missions and we get to see a barrage of familiar faces. Spielberg putting together a marvellous (and somewhat surreally diverse) cast.

Ted Danson?!

Daniel from Lost?

Vin Diesel in a role written specifically for him?!

The main focus though (and the drive of the film) is the relationship between the soldiers as they suffer in a horrible situation - a theme Spielberg continues to explore in Band of Brothers and The Pacific. The film really allows the characters to breathe and shows a depth and three-dimensional nature which still isn't massively common in films. See the way they struggle with their morality and their hatred of the Nazis. Rather big themes are lightly touched as parts of the war, rather than parts of the story. I for one found the scene in which Goldberg's Stanley Mellish declares his Jewish faith to the German POWs very powerful. For him, this is more than just a job. This is a battle against people which have persecuted and vilified everything that he stands for. This is a moral quest for justice. Yet, the film never expands on it... it is just part of the day to day nature of the war.

The film continues in this way.... setting up minor events which test and explore the group's characters until we come to the major event of meeting the titular James Ryan and one last big action scene. It is a film which doesn't shy away from death but which also tackles some interesting, and far tougher, themes such as survivors guilt.

A big and powerful film, which I'm going to undermine by linking to an Adam and Joe sketch:

I barely recognize this country anymore. The government's got us seeing Communists in our soup

No 453 - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Director - Steven Spielberg

So 20 years have past since Indiana Jones rode away from Petra... and the question that some people might have been asking is "What is he up to now?"

Well.... turns out he's still up to the same old shenanigans.

This is a difficult film to analyse because all the pieces are there, everything SHOULD work, and yet.... somehow.... it doesn't. I don't want to turn this into a purist rant about how the trilogy didn't need to be revisited, but I will talk about the things that did work and (in my opinion) the things that didn't work.

Before I go on.... I want to say, I don't mind the Aliens - sorry, Pan-Dimensional Beings. I don't really see how they are any more unbelievable or ridiculous than the sheer bonkers nonsense that is the old old old man guarding the holy grail.

The first one of these is that it really feels like it is trying too hard to appease fans.... and I think that this may be something to do with Mr Lucas. Who has shown time and time (with both the Star Wars Prequel trilogies and the re-cgi'd relaunches) that he just loves throwing as much shit as possible into a story and as many nods as he can to previous films.

So the opening action sequence upsets me for three reasons.... firstly, the Russians are lazy villains... they're just the Nazis with different accents. However, they fade in comparison with the other two issue (which are linked) and it all stems from having a massive scene in the mysterious warehouse of mystery.... which kinda means it loses some of that mystery. It is no longer a hushed up secret that we barely glimpsed. We're now following flying gunpowder on an official tour.

But worst of all.... during the battle scene they decide to show us the Ark of the Covenant.... in case we forgot. Completely unnecessary.

However, whilst the sequence does annoy me, there is one shining light. Cate Blanchett is hamming it up with a marvellous level of gusto and with the wobbliest accent which flipflops from Eastern European to English with alarming speed. But Blanchett does open the floodgates for a cavalcade of marvellous actors sticking their heads in. Probably because it'd be dead fun to be in an Indy film.

At the top of the list, most worthy of note are the two British legends Mr John Hurt and Mr Jim Broadbent. Both are (naturally) wonderful and fit into the lovely 1950's world of adventure. At the bottom of the list is Shia 'The Beef' LeBeouf in his role of Mutt (hoho he picked his name to be a dog's name like what Indiana did)

He is a very bland character and whilst he does get the coolest and most preposterous action sequence.... he also gets one so cringeworthy it makes me want to cry.

And whilst I don't want to pin all of the film's failings on Shia LeBeouf, he is central to the flaw... which is the family dynamic. Even the sheer excitement of Marion returning is numbed when they spend large amounts of time being boring and talking about the family. Marion shines when the action sequences begin and she is allowed to forget the 25 years of history and just be reckless, driving trucks off cliffs.

She doesn't deserve to have her brilliance lessened, the way it is by this film.

And I suppose thats the main problem.... what we have is a film which is much much less than the sum of its parts. That doesn't quite feel like an Indiana Jones romp.

It may be that CGI has cheapened action - now that ANYTHING is possible, it just doesn't impress as much as it used to - now it has to be an unbelievable stunt which is also PRESENTED in an unbelievable way.

It may just be that we've sort of done the 'Indy as a dad' thing with Short Round and we've sort of done the 'Indy's issues with family' with Henry Jones Snr - so this film feels redundant. Its sad.... but true.

And of course, that moment where Mutt picks up the hat and no one is sure whether this means he'll be continuing the franchise (because I wouldn't put ANYTHING past moneyeyes Lucas)... well, that's the scariest thing in the entire of Indiana Jones history. Fuck the Thuggee.

However. What we do learn, is the sheer enduring power of Indiana Jones. Because whether he is portrayed in silhouette or just 2 key props on a box. He is unmistakable. And he is a hero.

Just don't make anymore....

The quest for the grail is not archeology, it's a race against evil.

No 306 - Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Director Steven Spielberg

When watching the films as a set in succession (as I have just done) - the qualities of this film (which I always remembered as the weakest of the original trilogy) really shine through. After the darkness of face melting and nightmare tribes, the far more jokey vibe of this film seem a lot more appropriate. There is a lot of good in The Last Crusade.... lets check it out.

Really - what we're doing with the trilogy is building and then - to a certain degree - deconstructing a legend. So where Raiders of the Lost Ark gave us the hero and a romantic foil who is his equal, the sequels begin to look at how he behaves with people less suited to his adventurous lifestyle. Whether they be children and civilians (Short Round shows Indy's paternal streak far more beautifully than his relationship with Mutt... but I'm jumping forward a film) or whether they be his own estranged family.

The films show us just enough to understand Indiana (or, as we learn from this film Henry Jones Junior) without cheapening the myth or removing the enigma.

The film begins by firstly showing Indy as a child - always a risk as it can cheapen the character, but thankfully here played by the marvellous River Phoenix. And whilst we never needed to know why Indy is scared of snakes or why he decided to carry a whip (a weapon which proves to be endlessly versatile throughout the franchise) or why he has a fedora, it IS nice to know that he was always a badass with an unshaking loyalty to things belonging in museums.

Fast forward and we go on Indy's most bonkers quest to date. The holy grail. I'm not sure why I find it so preposterous, but there is something inherently surreal about a 900 year old man, much more than a face melting ark or some Sankara stones of mass destruction... however, the ridiculousness of the film doesn't matter because it is so fun - and this plays almost entirely down to the fizzing and sparkling chemistry between two men who (whilst often quipping) aren't renown for their comedy sensibilities.

Connery and Ford are marvellous on screen together... Indy's resentment to his father crackles throughout and Connery manages to pull the most fabulous unimpressed faces. There is something quite delicious about an adrenaline fuelled action adventure ending with a withering look from one's father.

Connery takes the film and makes it something more than an enjoyable romp. He makes it wonderful.... mixing comedy - see him an Ford bickering over women (Elsa is -at last - a fabulous female character complete with fab moral grey areas) - and actual emotion (I think that as Henry realises his son may have died, we get on of Connery's finest acting moments).

The film zips along and really benefits from having the Nazis as villains. Because, you can make the Nazis appear bumbling fools without really offending anyone.... whereas an Indian cult (even an Evil one) has the dangerous tightrope of racism. This film clearly relishes in scuppering the Nazis' plans (however - as I learnt from Lego Indiana Jones, the Nazis love to over complicate things) and even fit in a Hitler sight gag.

There are other things to enjoy in this film... for example, with the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword (are they baddies? really?) we get Indy's best dressed combatants. We get the return of Sallah - I don't think I mentioned it in Raiders.... but I bloody love John Rhys-Davies in these films, but he just helps to build a near faultless entourage aiding Indy on this brilliant romp.

And I think - almost more so than the two before it - romp is the key word for this film. As it travels to far flung destinations, castles and ancient wonders and as the peril is kept fairly light hearted it means there is no trauma.

This is a happy little adventure.... and we are happy to see Indy and his entourage walk off into the sunset.

Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory

No 233 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Director - Steven Spielberg

Well... Whilst the sight of a Nazi's face melting off may be a dark ending to Raiders of the Lost Ark, it is nothing compared to the outright horror that makes up Temple of Doom.... We are in for some rough times in our PG rating. Some tough times indeed.

However, firstly, Spielberg lulls us into a false sense of security by offering what must be the campest introduction in all of his career:

So... we're in the fab 30's before war has broken out and before Raiders has taken place... And Indy is getting himself into trouble - and after an awesome little shoot out we are saddled with Indy's new sidekicks for the film....

and this is where Temple of Doom falters. After the excellent double bill of Sallah and Marion, leaving us with Willie and Short Round feels like a punishment. Especially as most of their character seems built around screaming.

In fact about 95% of Willie's screen time is scream time. That pun is gold!.

Short Round at least has some redeeming features, I particularly like the sheer idolisation with which Jonathan 'Booby Traps' Ke Quan plays towards Indy. The little moments that they share and which aren't shouting are quite gentle.

It creates a father son relationship of sorts, which plays nicely with the ladies man which was painted in film 1.

However, what I really want to talk about are the Thuggee - again we are plunged head first into an interesting tale of folklore and mythology, kept entertained by disgusting meals, sexual farcery and rollicking mine carts.... The set pieces are huge and audacious, but they all pale to the sheer horror of the villains.

The Thuggee are a genuine old Hindu cult, and whilst Wikipedia does describe some of their actions and beliefs - nothing prepares me for the horrors in this.... A FAMILY FILM.

If we ignore the torture and child abuse which runs rampant throughout this - the scenes involving human sacrifice are probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in a PG which doesn't involve Skeksis!

The film rattles on at a marvellous pace, and tells a great story. The set pieces are large and bombastic, but for me - everything is just slightly outweighed by the annoyance of Willie (who really does very little of use) and by the nightmarish qualities of the film.

Professor of Archeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it... obtainer of rare antiquities

No 2 - Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Director - Steven Spielberg

A hand brushes through the jungle. The brim of a fedora throws a strong jaw into shadow. A leather jacket is seen through the dense foliage. A gun is produced and then WHIP CRACK we see our hero...

Much like the introduction of James Bond (something I know a lot about now thanks to BlogalongaBond) - Spielberg teases the audience before finally unveiling his hero. It is that subtle and masterful presentation (and a fucking cool crack of the whip) that makes a star. And Indy is a star. And... lets be honest... Harrison Ford is the kind of awesome that means you can fully imagine his classrooms filled with dreamy eyed girls going all gooey over him and his brainy tweed and spectacles. - I also like the Superman-esque imagery of it all. How by donning glasses, he can put on a disguise of academia and mask the fact that he is a globe trotting bad ass.

And yet a bad ass who is prone to mistakes (which is important - Ford's matinee heroes are never perfect... look at Han Solo) - after all if he hadn't removed that handful of sand, he may never have triggered the sensors in the opening temple, and subsequently we wouldn't get this amazing and oft parodied action scene.

So, the opening gambit show that Indiana is a hero... and we can therefore believe that federal agents would rope him into finding a seemingly impossible artifact. The Ark of the Covenant. Because... apparently Hitler was an obsessive of the Paranormal (as I've been told in both this and Hellboy... so it must be true).

However... it is here that there is a problem. People have been searching for the Ark for 3,000 years... Now, even though the Nazis have made a lot of necessary headway, Indy finds the thing in 20 minutes! How hard have they been looking for the last 3,000 bloody years?! The rest of the film is just Nazis stealing it and him stealing it back.... like a slapstick back and forth.

SLAPSTICK BACK AND FORTH:

But this might be because of his handy gang of awesome awesome friends. Firstly Sallah knows everyone and has an amazing voice which appears to have inspired Peter Serafinowicz in Running Wilde.

And then we have Marion.... ah Marion. She is just the most fabulous foil to Indy. Because she is even more reckless, even more temperamental, even more.... drunk... than Indy will ever be - their relationship is brilliant built around bickering and petty one up manship - so when we finally get the romance element, it turns out that a simple kissing scene becomes very steamy indeed...

Really... this is a film that has everything, even a Nazi monkey. It has action, adventure, romance and quite a lot of real horror.

The Indiana franchise is quite keen on littering sets with corpses.... but the real horror here comes from the shocking face melting finale...

How is that PG?

Martin, it's all psychological. You yell 'barracuda', everybody says 'Huh? What?' You yell 'shark', we've got a panic on our hands...

No 5 - Jaws
Director - Steven Spielberg

I recently went to see the marvellously stupid Piranha 3D (well worth a trip to the cinema, even if you will be shafted by 3D ticket prices for a film that is barely 3D) and I thought that there was only one film that you can really watch after a pretty stupid Jaws homage.

That film is Jaws.

I think, sometimes, I overlook Spielberg and forget that he is an amazing director. He just becomes one of these names, one of the 'brand' directors and you forget that his films are massive, fabulous and really very influential. Sometimes in less than obvious ways.
You also forget just how much violence (and nudity) Spielberg seems to be able to squeeze into his films without the ratings going up - and how many genuine scares there are (Ben Gardner's boat being the big classic example). But yet there are two aspects to this film which will remain Spielberg's triumphs (even though one of them isn't really his).
Firstly the dolly zoom. Yes it had been done by many other people before, but mainly to show vertigo (distances seeming longer) - Spielberg's shot focuses on Brody and thereafter became a massively influential camera flourish.
However, Jaws' real success story comes from the most glorious piece of minimalism. John Williams' beautiful theme. A wonderful lesson in how to layer in a truly horrific level of ominous dread. And remember, that is is mostly down to that 2 note central construct. Derr Dum. It is just chilling.

So we come to the film... and despite how it may have been advertised, this is not a film about a Shark terrorising a town. There are only a couple of short scenes in which the shark attacks, and even those scenes are mostly implied. Besides the occasional fleeting shot, we don't really see the shark until 80 minutes into the film. What we have are three men on a boat together who are out to catch a shark.
The film is as much about their male bonding (mainly through scar comparison) as it is about the shark. And the team dynamic works really well - with Hooper, the Shark expert, analytical and scientific; Quint, the Shark hunter, bat shit insane; and Brody, the city cop, practical and focused but scared of the sea. AND I AM SORRY, BUT... you wouldn't become the sheriff of a small island who's primary source of income is the beach if you were terrified of the sea. It makes no sense, and Brody's excuse of 'It's only an island if you look at it from the water' is frankly weak.

So after an introduction which sets the scene for an hour and then a lot of male bonding and firing harpoons with barrels attached we stumble into the film's final 15 minutes which is where the shit goes down.
It is also where we get the wonderful crossover - for when Hooper is put into the diving cage we are graced with footage of an actual shark. You can tell. It moves so much more naturally than the rigid beast of a shark which is used for the rest of the film. However the problems with the mechanical shark are well documented and it doesn't stop the film being amazing.

It is one of the perfect examples of the pulpy monster genre. Jaws (or whatever the shark's name is) is a fabulous 'villain', because Sharks are fucking creepy looking beasts.

Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.

No 378 - The Goonies
Director - Richard Donner

I love 80's kids films. I also love 80's Spielberg. Both seem to be pushing the boundaries as to what they could get away with. Take the Goonies. Although it is a film about a group of kids, we begin by setting up the villains - The Fratellis (villains definitely from the Harry and Marv school of criminals). The set up involves a fake suicide (hanging... pretty dark) and a SWEAR. Very naughty. We've not even left the title credits yet... But there has been a jail break, and through a masterful sequence we get to see all of the Goonies.

So let's look at them. The two brothers have a genuinely nice family bond, and are played by young Sean Astin and young Josh Brolin. Which is pretty damned cool if you ask me (though Brolin is probably cooler than Astin). Gradually they meet up with other members of their little team - including the baffling and brilliant Data and the really annoying Chunk - even Chunk speaking is enough to piss me off. I find chunk really annoying - Iconic ironic retro cool or not.
However the team meet up and events move fairly quickly in order to get One Eyed Willie's treasure map into their hands.

And I'm sorry... One Eyed Willie? Is that really appropriate for a kid's film?

And so we move out of the Boom Docks and into a world of adventure. For whilst the Goonies may have a very noble motivation (to get the Pirate treasure, in order to be able to buy their estate and not have it knocked down and turned into a golf course by those evil rich folk) - The Boon Docks are not the nicest looking area.
Because hanging around in houses is fine and can be fun with your friends, but surely every child's dream is to find an ACTUAL functioning treasure map. That is pretty cool.

So, a bunch of children find themselves on a treasure hunt, which begins in a creepy restaurant (which I'll discuss later) and takes them down into tunnels and caves. Let us begin with what I love about these sets.

They are so so fake.

The adventures in the caves and tunnels involve children walking through obviously foam rock land fills and booby traps. It isn't real - it is hokey jokey matinee nonsense. It feels like the temples of Indiana Jones or the Pirate Worlds of Hook and Peter Pan. It is a jokey Disneyland landscape complete with ridiculously intricate Rube Goldberg machines (a theme we see throughout the film - thanks to the gadgets of Data and Willie's intricate traps) and conveniently skull shaped rock formations.
It is utterly preposterous - and yet it works for this romp adventure. You let the silliness wash over you so that even when the Goonies find the treasure (in a perfectly preserved, and still functioning pirate ship), you forget that the ship is over 300 years old and should be rotting. You just let it carry right on.

The film also continues in a wonderfully filmic way - by which I mean that there is no attempt at reality. In particular, the fact that each Goonie has their own task and skill which is necessary for the adventure.

So we have Mouth, who has the ability to read Spanish;
Chunk, who breaks things (convenient in a lot of situations);
Mikey, the leader, with his dogged optimism and perseverance;
Data, who has the gadgets;
Brandon, the muscles;
and Andy, who can play piano (which magically becomes relevant).

Together they use their skills to not only triumph against pirate terrors but also against some naughty counterfeiting criminals.
The Fratellis seem to take a lot of time and effort in trying to catch these children, when really they should be covering up their own criminal activity. They are bumbling and argumentative. They are scared of their mum... And they have a very strange brother.

Sloth - played by John Matuszak under crazy levels of make up.

Sloth is perhaps the weirdest bit of all in The Goonies. The film's official line is that Mama Fratelli dropped him as a baby, several times. Then, rather than pay for medication, he was neglected. This means that whilst he may be physically deformed and a bit mentally slow, he has also acquired superhuman strength. Of course - makes perfect sense.

His bellow of HEY YOU GUYS! brings shivers of nostalgic joy and just continues the film's silly adventure vibe.

I love The Goonies. This film will stay fun and stay exciting forever. After all, Goonies never die.

Incidentally - I couldn't spot a Spielberg cameo - anyone know of one?
Although I did notice that when the police list Chunk's prank calls - one is about a monster which multiplies when you get them wet. Which is a nice touch.

Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little guy like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

No 310 - Gremlins
Director - Joe Dante

It is time to crack out some of the alternative Christmas classics. This is a brilliant Christmas film in that, like the equally brilliant Die Hard, it happens OVER Christmas but it isn't directly about Christmas. It also comes through the period when Speilberg was producing bonkers 80's comedies. The Goonies is a surprisingly dark film for a children's adventure, but it pales in comparison of the awesome darkness on show in Gremlins.

This is violent messy anarchy. Surprisingly gory and full of messy explosions. It is a shame to see something so wildly madcap and dangerous made into something as anodyne as broadband repair. But that is the problem with nostalgic advertising execs.

The film begins like a smokey film noir, reminiscent of Blade Runner with the voiceovers, Chinatown and shadowy figures wearing trilbys. However, that is only a brief introduction before we are introduced to the Mogwai in the form of the painfully cute Gizmo. Look at him. He is just adorable. I'm surprised Dante never sued Furby over the toys.... the similarities in both visuals and sound are there in abundance.
There is nothing more Christmassy (in my eyes) than Gizmo in a santa hat.

Gizmo is soon introduced into a small American town with three important rules.

• No bright lights
• Don't get them wet
• Don't feed them after midnight.

(that last rule is the most confusing... surely it is always 'after midnight' - when is it safe to START feeding them? What happens if you're on a plane chasing timezones.... that rule is too arbitrary - shouldn't it be don't feed them after dark or something?)

Of course, the rules get broken and all hell breaks out in the form of the titular Gremlins. I like the Gremlins because they have the best motivation for villainous monsters. Eat food, get wet so they can multiply, blow shit up. That appears to be it. Also, they seem to have ADD so they constantly get distracted by stuff. The cinema being the best bit. There is nothing I can think of funnier than the sight of all the Gremlins in the cinema singing 'Hi Ho' from Snow White. Brilliant. Bonkers bonkers brilliance.
That is what is great about this film - it is just bonkers. The Gremlins offer Dante the opportunity to unleash complete anarchy into the film. What is impressive is the level which he takes it.

If you 0nly ever seen Gremlins on TV, hunt out the DVD pronto. For some reason there is a TV edit that decided Gremlins would work as a PGish creepy horror-lite for kids. This means you miss out on all the best bits of the film.
Firstly you miss out on almost all of the Gremlin deaths, because Dante (quite rightly) realised that you want the Gremlins to die big messy deaths. So we get them mostly exploding into puddles of gore. Be it in blenders or be it in microwaves. Just big messy red BANGS. Most of the really big death are done in 3 minutes by Billy's mum who proves to be pretty damned badass at fending for herself.
The human deaths are also pretty dark, Murry's death is quite savage as he is mowed down by his tractor, whereas the cruel and heartless Mrs Deagle gets thrown out of the window by a super fast Stairlift - that is pretty funny. All the big messy deaths are pretty funny. Its like Final Destination with a sense of humour. And puppets. Puppets can only ever make a horror story better and funnier.
The only 'clean' death is when Billy manages to kill off most of the Gremlins in one fell swoop by setting the cinema on fire. If 2009 has taught me one thing it has taught me that if you want to kill off a large number of baddies (be they Gremlins or Nazis) set the cinema on fire.

You also miss the best line (or speech) to be uttered in the entire film. Billy's love interest, Kate, doesn't like Christmas. To be fair she has a ruddy valid reason not to...
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

I was watching this and my little sister just turned to me and told me that she wanted to laugh but felt bad. This is a REALLY black comedy (When it isn't a violent madcap slapstick one) and it surprises me that Chris Columbus went from writing this to writing the painfully saccharine first two Harry Potter films.

The madness isn't just there in the scenes with the gremlins, it also appears with Billy's father. He is a truly terrible inventor (I love the ominous tones the film takes whenever a character approaches one of the inventions... both the music and the camera seems to take a note of DOOM) and goes off to an inventors conference which looks brilliant.
Steven Spielberg whizzes past
H.G Wells' time machine vanishes between two scenes
Robbie the Robot appears to try and sell a car over the phone (though I can't be sure).
The little cameos and nods to other films (at one point Stripe, the head Gremlin, hides behind an ET doll) are just brilliant touches in a very good, very silly comedy.

It is the ultimate 80's film really, in that it ticks all the boxes. It has comedy, it has cute puppets, it has evil monsters, it has gore, it has explosions, it has Corey Feldman (a necessity in the 80's) it even sort of has a moral about responsibility.
Gizmo is reclaimed by his 'stereotype Chinese old man' owner but it is still a happy ending.

After all, Gizmo says Billy can return for him when he is older. Billy gets the girl and his father finally gets an invention accepted.

It is the kind of ending that you want at Christmas. A warm fuzzy feeling that immediately follows watching a gross monster melt.

Happy Times.